We made it! Well, actually, we have been here for a little over two weeks already. Like I’ve mentioned before, it takes me a little while to process information. 🙂
I am going to make this point in several parts, though I’m not sure how many yet, because once I get to writing I find it difficult to stop. And I tend to give waaaayyyy too many details, but I’ve got to paint the picture, ya know?!
Let me just give a short disclaimer here… Two weeks in a foreign country = tons of new experiences. That is why this will be a multi-part blog post.
I don’t really want this to be a play-by-play of event, but sometimes I get sucked in that direction, so bear with me as I try to write about these last 2 weeks without taking you down each twist and turn and curve. 🙂
It was a really strange feeling, landing in Mexico. I have to say… Even though this past year has been tough and rough and stressful at times, I didn’t realize the reality of my situation until I was actually, physically in Mexico. It was like I had told the story so many times over, that I had all the details memorized, but I was completely detached emotionally and mentally. I was numb to how exceptional my situation was. It was just a story. A cool story. A strange story. A fun story to tell. A special story? A cruel story? A love story. A story of triumph. A story of perseverance. Whatever it was, it was just a story.
But I tell you what, where the rubber meets the road is where story becomes reality. And I had no idea I was telling a story. I thought I was sharing my life, but no, it was too distant from my heart to be my story. Ha. What a surprise awaited me in Mexico. The whole 2 hour drive to my Mother-in-law’s house was filled with tears and shock. I was here. In Mexico. What the heck was I doing here? Why on earth was I here?
My mind was filled with questions that I had no answers to in the moment. This story was actually someone’s life. And that someone was me. How did this happen to me? I was a ball of emotions. I hadn’t really had time to understand my situation before leaving. I was too busy. Busy with life, numbly going through the motions to reach an end that I knew was inevitable, but unable to comprehend what was going on. I was working – necessary. I was taking care of my little ones – necessary. I was selling all of my stuff – necessary. I was packing – necessary. I was so busy – unnecessary. It was the busyness that kept my mind from processing anything. I just jumped without feeling. Maybe it was a conscious decision in order to protect myself from overwhelming emotion. I can’t really tell you at this point. I don’t know. All I know is when I got here in Mexico, I was confused. I couldn’t comprehend how I had gotten here or the path leading up to such a huge decision.
They weren’t all bad emotions though, which is what contributed to my emotional mess I think. I was also excited to see my husband again, Giancarlo was super excited to see Papa, and Carmen-Elena adjusted as though she had seen him everyday of her life.
